Today I paid for the car behind me in the drive-through.
As I sat in line waiting to pay, I looked back and saw a dad with his 2 kids in the car. There was nothing unusual about him.
When I paid for them, the lady had to ask again what I wanted to do. She looked confused.
I paid, got my diet coke and drove off. I realllllllly wanted to look back and see his reaction. What would it be? Would he be surprised? Confused? Grateful? Would he think I'm a weirdo? Most likely the last one (which is why I didn't look).
But mostly I liked how I felt. The money didn't matter. His reaction shouldn't be important. I just liked feeling that maybe I had made someone's day better. That maybe he would pass that on down the drive-through line and that people paying for each other would just happen indefinitely. Like go on for infinity.
Okay, maybe not that long.
But that's how good I felt.
1. Who do I appreciate? , my Heavenly Father, my family and friends
2. How am I fortunate? so many ways. my job. other job offers. that we have practically everything we need and want
3. What material possessions am I thankful for? home, working car, iphone
4. What abilities do I have that I'm grateful for? being able to listen to people yell at me quite often and not care -- maybe this isn't a great thing, but today, especially, I am grateful for it.
5. What about my surroundings (home/neighborhood/city/etc.) am I thankful for? the mountains!, snow falling, no humidity
6. What experiences have I had that I am grateful for? College Education, growing up in NY, being married young(er), lots of work experience, to make my own decisions, to be able to help others
7. What happened today/yesterday/this week/this month/this year that I am grateful for? Successful job interviews, being able to work in the nursery, playing the organ in church, spending quality time with family and friends
8. What opportunities do I have that I am thankful for? nursery (most of the time...), organ, having a job that allows me to interact with others, the chance to have new ones in different places
9. What relationships am I thankful for? my marriage! and my wonderful family and friends.
10. What am I taking for granted that, if I stop to think about it, I am grateful for? wayyy too much. sadly. but isn't that what Thanksgiving is for?
You don't know me. And I can pretty much guarantee that we will never meet. But I just wanted to thank you for having a blog. And not making it private. And for letting me become a part of your world for a few short minutes. I just happened across your blogs in my everyday wanderings of the worldwide web. I was only looking for something to read about that would take my mind off of the clock that ticks so slowly and reminds me that there are plenty of minutes left before I can go home. BUT for a few short minutes, I stumble across your world. A world that seems out of a fairy tale. A world that I long to be a part of for even a short space of time.
I envy your lives sometimes. You all have incredible stories to tell and captivate me with the minute details that make it feel so intimate. The courage and faith and patience and love and firm hope I read in your words is marvelous to read about.
I envy your trials - even the pain that comes from them. The lessons you learned from them and lived to blog about are awe-inspiring. You say that they were so difficult, yet you made it through them with such grace and poise and elegance. I know that maybe I'm not seeing the whole picture, but the glimpses that I do catch take away my breath and make me wish I was stronger like you.
I want to have the same kind of happiness that you have. The babies being born, the myriad of memories, the holiday celebrations, the school performances, the vacations, the moments where you have tender mercies and hopeful revelations. Oh please, take me into your world for two seconds. School and work seem oh so dull and not worth blogging about. There are millions of people around me saying the same thing. "School is hard, work is tough, not enough hours in the day." All I want is to have an adventure. And you give me that while I can't have it on my own - by letting me look through your eyes.
May you continue to have wonderful birthdays and beautiful memories so that I can continue to grow from seeing how you go through your world. You make me want to live better, be better. And I owe you tremendous thanks for that. I am excited to have adventures of my own someday. And if we do meet, can we trade stories?!
Graciously,
The girl you don't know and probably never will.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
So I've been working on this other post that I can't seem to find the time to finally finish. You'll realize which one when I actually post it. But I just have a couple thoughts I would like to throw out into the world wide web.
1) I've decided I'm spoiled. Not in the "spoiled-rotten, get-whatever-I-want" sense. But I have so much nice stuff. I own a Land Rover, my fiance bought me an IPHONE, I have a job that lets me work whenever I want - or not work whenever I don't want; I live in a really nice condo that has some really nice amenities, I have a gorgeous ring on my finger. And I'm spoiled. Slash ungrateful.
2) I'm in the slump of school right now. My motivation level = (-10). I have zero desire to accomplish anything. I'm in a semester of taking classes that I need in order to graduate, but all of which I dislike: nutrition, stats, history, chemistry, psychology, physics. So, someone inspire me to keep going please? I can't do it by myself.
3) I went to the gym again this morning. Yay! (after taking a 4 day break - a break which makes me feel even more unhealthy than not going in the first place does..... and I just reread that sentence. I hope it makes sense.) But, I didn't run as far as I was going to originally. And now I'm eating gummi bears? Nice trade-off, right? Less running=more gummi bears. Except it shouldn't.
4) I'm getting out of Provo this weekend (after finishing cleaning checks)! I'm excited. It's not even for any really special reason. In fact, it's more like a personal business trip. But that doesn't stop the excitement! BYU doesn't have enough holidays and I don't think they realize that I need a mental health day about, oh maybe every 15 school days. I'm a full supporter (okay, more like 85%) of the idea that we go to school 4 days a week and have a 3 day weekend. That sounds perfect right now. :)
5) I am craving a coke. Which normally never happens. It's not usually something I crave. Pickles, yes. Cottage cheese, sometimes. Chocolate, fairly often. Coke? Never. But then, I watched this:
And it made me happy! Now I want to go do nice things for other people. And I want a coke.
6) And I have an awesome list of really un-awesome things that need to get done. So, time to focus? Actually it's more like time for staff meeting. And it was my turn to bring treats!
Well, let me rephrase that. I don't leave valuable things in my car, so I didn't lock it (mostly I don't lock it due to the alarm system that likes to go on the fritz and not let me into my car sometimes). And on Monday, someone decided to get in my car, rifle through my things and take what they wanted.
I am slightly stumped. The only thing gone from my car is a tiny coin jar that contains maybe $5 worth of pennies and nickels - because the dimes and quarters go towards whopper jrs at BK. My glove compartment was open, the papers from it were strewn across the seat, along with all the napkins I keep in there for contingencies. And I felt very very grateful that my car was still there. So, I didn't really mind the fact that my funds were slightly diminished.
I didn't call the police because nothing else was missing and nothing was broken and there were no other real signs of foul play. I went to the gym instead, which was where I was headed when I made this discovery.
While at the gym, I realized something big. Right before I went home for Christmas, I made 2 new copies of my car keys because my original was getting slightly bent and was begging to break every time I turned the lock. Guess where I put the original. In the glove compartment. My feelings of gratitude soared because I realized how easily the perpetrator could have taken one of the only valuable things I own.
And yet, amidst all these feelings of gratitude, I feel violated. Someone I don't know and don't trust got in my car. Went through my things. And took something I don't really care about. But now I just feel uncomfortable and insecure. Everywhere I go. School, the gym, the store. At the gym, most of the women put their things in lockers and don't lock them. I just can't do that, even more so now that this happened.
There is a reason why girls like feeling safe. The comfort and security that comes from it can make an feelings of uneasiness disappear in an instant. I just want to feel okay walking around doing things I normally do. Not feel violated trying to live a normal life.
You always think this can never happen to you. But it does. And the aftereffects are always worse than the actual incidence.
Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion and overreacting. Either way, I still feel uncomfortable every time I walk out to my car.
Today, at staff meeting, we discussed some business items and after we finished those, we were shown a powerpoint containing the following:
We were all challenged to make the most of the precious moments we have here on earth. We were also asked to take pictures of these moments - because you never realize the value of what you had until it's gone, whether it is a moment that becomes a memory or somebody that becomes your someone. So I guess I will be taking more pictures from here on out.... I am excited for what life can bring. Even though things are not exactly 'exciting' in my life - just the same old school, work and social stuff - I do want to remember them. And appreciate what I've got.
