bowl me over.

So every Thursday night, we made our way to an alley that contained balls and pins for our play. (well, not mine - theirs.) I watched, week in, week out, the good, the bad, the awful. And trust me. It was most definitely worth it.

This team of bonediggers won the championships. They are the best bowling team that BYU has to offer. They played big when it counted. And they came away with these awesome pieces of art:

So, you ask, were these worth an entire semester's worth of Thursdays?

I think YES.

twilight years?

watch this little gem. it is priceless. and it made me laugh.

in my perfect world.

As of right now, my perfect world contains ZERO finals. But is that what I really want in my perfect world?

No, I can handle the finals. I think I want something else instead.

in my perfect world, I would devote more time to appreciating God's hand in my life.

I would savor and cherish the good times.

my pride would never come first.

i would apologize more. and so, so much sooner.

i would be more understanding and try to listen more.

communicating my love would be the most important.

be forgiving, gentle, and unfailingly kind.

the people i love most would always know it and know it because of my actions.

And as hard and frustrating as finishing my finals seem right now, this perfect world sounds even farther away. And as impossible as that sounds, I am comforted by the fact that everyday is an opportunity for me to become a better person. And take one step closer to that perfect world.

love me or hate me - that is the question.

i've decided that i have a love/hate relationship with growing up.

wanna hear my reasons?

1) no more imagination. growing up means this is definitely blocked. have you ever heard of a grown-up having an imaginary friend? yeah, me neither.

2) more responsibility. not as fun as it sounds. because responsibility and stress have a direct relationship. one goes up, so does the other.

3) people talk to you seriously. yeah, it's all fine and good most of the time. but who wants to be taken seriously ALL the time? not me.

4) no more fun bathtime. showers/bath are 99% all seriousness now. no more crayon soap, no more rubber duckies, no more pretending to be the little mermaid and soaking up the floor (i definitely loved that one. it was always the part of the movie where she splashes up on the rock and all the waves crash behind her. definitely made for a wet bathroom floor.)

5) no more fun jobs. real jobs (minus a select few) are never as fun as washing the walls or cleaning my room. (cleaning my room always led to dress up - with whatever was on the floor. which means nothing got put away and it never really got clean. funny how that happens sometimes.)

6) i love choosing my own bedtime. which lately has been getting later and later. and taking naps of my own choice makes them even sweeter.

7) the idea of decorating my own house is just thrilling. i have all these ideas of what i want to do crammed away into a folder that is just waiting to be opened!

8) school is definitely a lot harder. but is almost the same amount of fun.... not the same KIND of fun, but maybe the same amount.

9) shopping is way more fun. costco samples, clearance sales, christmas shopping. definitely more fun when you don't have to stay with Mom the whole time.

10) boys no longer have cooties. in fact, i spend most of my time with one and i'm still as enamored as day one.

The pleasure is all mine.

On my anatomy test today was this:

"It has been a pleasure having you.... Now hurry up and get out of here!"

It echoed my sentiments exactly.

One final down. Five more to go. And all that is going through my head right now is "baby steps". "baby steps". "Baby steps into the elevator......"

squelched. thoroughly.

my creative juices have been squelched.

Two more weeks of finals/classes. Two weeks too long.

And the fact that it's snowing outside just makes me want to curl up in front of a christmas movie with some hot chocolate and toast. And NOT study. I'm on a good losing streak right now including having successful studying sessions or coming up with anything to blog about.

I've been squelched. thoroughly........... or maybe I should just face the truth that I never had any juices to begin with. Either way, it's a doozy of a quandary - and all my brain wants to do is shut down and hibernate for the winter.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Sometimes life is all about the countdowns. Countdowns to take-off. Countdowns to deadlines. Days until birthdays. Days until Christmas (or any other holiday for which school is closed). Countdowns to when babies are due. Countdown to when work is over or the weekend begins. Days until my flight leaves. Days (and then hours) until his flight arrives. Time until classes are over. Time until dinner is ready. Countdowns to when finals are done. Days until payday. I think we would all have countdowns to our deaths if it were possible for us to know exactly when that would be. I always seem to be waiting for something to happen. Funny how we all are counting down until sometime in the future instead of enjoying the now.

consider it.

"Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life." - Ezra Taft Benson.

Which reminds me of this:

Thanksgiving marks the time when we begin to focus on presents and gifts and decorations and carolers and snowmen and twinkle lights and hot chocolate and treats and stories.

However, it also kicks off the start of the season of giving.

Maybe there are a few gifts that we can give that might leave a more lasting impression than any temporal, store-bought, bow-topped gift under the tree.

think about it.

about TIME. sheesh.

I did it. For real this time. I took a whopper of an ANATOMICAL test at the infamous and awful testing center, known loathingly as Heber. AND I came away with a solid 92% on the multiple choice with a "fantastic!" written next to my number on the score screen.

Can I just say I've been waiting for a moment like this for 4 years? I've gotten good grades like this before, but not on a test for my major. Just on little side tests like ethics, and judaism, and d&c, and english. but never on a test for a major class. BOOOOOOOYAH.

I'm pretty peacock proud right now. Except I have yet another test (for my major, yet again) tomorrow before I can claim my freedom for the holiday weekend.

Time to get off my proud pedestal and back to the old grind. I just wanted to document this moment for posterity's sake (and my sanity's - for when finals roll around and I feel utterly stupid again). And I thought this picture was strangely appropriate:

RSVP please.

I'm taking a break from anatomy and I thought I would share this gem with you. Written in the margin of my anatomy notebook was this: "Everybody is invited to think."

And you are. So please do.

Think about stuff. Think about your family. Think about the words you say. Think about the things you do. Think about your attitude. Think about your blessings in life. Think about the opportunities of life. Think about love. Think about beauty. Think about nature. Think about all the wonderful things in life. Think about the answers we have to life's great questions. (If you're still thinking about them, go here.)

But please. Start thinking. And appreciating.

what are YOU thankful for?

What I am thankful for today:
1. for the Church. and the Atonement.

2. for real salt lake winning the mls cup. for being the underdogs and for fighting their way to the top.

3. for friends to be nervous and scream and celebrate with when we do win.

4. for delicious food to fuel frenzied enthusiasm.

5. for being able to find the hilarity in having a dating seminar during sunday school instead of a lesson

6. for vacation days and short school days

7. for a cozy bed that is warm and snuggly.

8. for gchat. and skype.

9. for hopes and dreams and plans and wishes and goals.

10. for people with whom i can share all the hopes and dreams and plans and wishes and goals

"Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." Deni Waitley

This one hits home.

Does this resonate with anyone else?

Because it sure struck a chord with me.

Oh happy day.

I bought Christmas presents today!! It was thrilling. And, I thought about posting a picture of the things I got just because I think they are pretty rad. BUT you will just have to wait the 37 days until Christmas to find out.

And I am excited to see this tree:

Oh, the memories of Christmas caroling in NYC. And the bitter bitter cold wind. I don't miss that part.

I love candid photos.

Found this little gem. Isn't it precious how the love just ooooozes off the page?

Personally, I think it would be a lot cuter if the lady on the left wasn't staring at C and J.

Oh well. you get what you get and you don't get upset. :)

'Tis the season, I suppose.

It is almost Thanksgiving. And I'm starting to think I need to start taking a healthy dose of gratitude every day. Sometimes being a grump is so strangely satisfying that it is hard to get out of the slump.

I should be grateful I have at least one exam every week because it gives me more points to help my grade (theoretically speaking).

I should be grateful for the long hours at work despite the slowness because it means a bigger paycheck with less stress.

I should be grateful for my education because it is almost over and I am starting to get the feeling I might actually miss it.

I should be grateful for my busy days because it means I am actually doing something with my time (and hopefully those things are worthwhile)

I should be grateful for the time I get to spend with friends because very soon we will all be doing different things with our lives and going in different directions.

I should be grateful for planes that can fly me home for Christmas because it means I do not have to take a 176 hour train ride or 5 day bus ride.

I should be grateful for this blog because it gives me SOME PLACE TO RAMBLE on about things and not waste someone else's time by making them listen to me.

I am grateful for family and soon-to-be-family.

I am grateful for winter. Because it makes springtime even better.

I am grateful for photographers who can capture the incredible beauty of the world we live in. And make us realize how precious the little moments are.

I am grateful for twinkly lights, pumpkin rolls and hot chocolate. Because being happy inside makes you happy on the outside and then the happiness spreads like warmth.

I am grateful for professors who tell you everything they are asking about on their exams. Because it is nice to know that they aren't trying to kill you and that they want you to do well.

I am grateful for fashion. And the pops of color that have been carried over from summer. And ruffles. For some reason, I really like the femininity they create.

I am grateful for the Honor Code. For the ways it helps us be better.

I am grateful for weekdays. They make the weekends so much better.

I am grateful for bloggers who are willing to share their creativity and imagination with the world.

I am grateful for emails from across the world. Because somehow reading someone's words brings them that much closer. Even when they are really FAR AWAY.

I am grateful for my best friend.

And, I am grateful for hope. Because sometimes things get overwhelming. And that is okay. Because I can handle it. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Maybe if I keep repeating it, one day I will believe it.

I guess that's enough gratitude for the day. I apologize if you made it to the end of this post. I think I needed to write this more than anyone else needs to read it.

Maybe next time I will just make a thankfulness tree like this one:

I'm having writer's block. So you get pictures instead...

I want this dress:

I've been staring at it longingly since the beginning of May. Too bad I don't have $4000 just laying around that I can spend on a dress I will only wear once.

sunshine and stormy clouds.

Some days are like rainbows and puffy clouds - filled with imagination and adventure and beauty and hope. But sometimes there are dark grey ominous clouds that bring in the storms that make the day seem bleak and sad. And so these thunderstorms have a bit of a reputation that makes them most unwelcome, unpleasant and rejected. I guess I kinda learned today that sometimes stormy clouds like this aren't as terrible as they seem. They bring the rain that washes all the dirt and gloom away. And then the world is beautiful again.

And so amidst days with sunshine and days with storms, I would just like to say I am grateful for ending stormy nights on a good note. And for the beauty that comes afterwards.

I did it.

In story form:

My Fight For Freedom:
How Facebook Sucked My Life Away

Dear World,

I did it. The feeling right now is incredible. Liberation + no more temptation = a feeling of elation. Today at 11:07 a.m., on the 2nd floor of the HBLL, I deleted my facebook. And let me tell you, the result has been wonderful. Even before the actual deletion, I was on such a high from deciding to do it that I paid attention in all of my classes - the whole time. And enjoyed them.

I've had a couple friends ask me why I did it. Here are a few of my reasons: A) I'm addicted to it. I can't control myself - in both how often I log on and how much time I spend each time I log on. It takes up so much of my time -- time that is supposedly valuable, but that I'm not valuing very much if I'm spending it all online. B) I'd rather have a relationship with real people instead of a machine. C) I'm pretty sure my real friends are the ones who have my cell phone number. The rest are all just the victims of innocent stalking. And I'll sacrifice them for a real conversation with a real person. D) I still have an email and a cell phone and skype and a blog. Despite what it looks like, I'm not ostracizing myself from the rest of the world.

I have had my facebook for over 5 years. I got facebook when you had to be invited to have a facebook. Back when they didn't have an inbox, or a news feed, or quizzes, or put photo albums up or chat. Or a lot of stuff. Back when this guy was the logo of facebook:

And at first, it was a fun, easy way to connect with your friends without feeling like you're sending an intrusive email. And if you didn't have a cell phone, it was quick and easy. And had fewer numbers to remember.

But it soon escalated. To the point where I was/am addicted. This I will freely admit. I would check it not once or twice a day. More like once or twice an hour. And after an hour of being on it in the library, or at work, I'd finally get off and not be able to remember the things I needed to accomplish for the day. I was more interested in seeing people's lives and critiquing them and feeling involved from afar instead of being real friends.

I liked what this man wrote in a NYtimes article (Feb. 9, 2009) about the whole "25 things" fad that went around at the start of this year :

"The idea that real intimacy is achieved by telling 25 people about the first time you saw a horse or the name of your kindergarten boyfriend is, admittedly, worthy of ridicule. But in her refusal to participate, Ms. B may have unwittingly touched upon the very thing that makes the exercise so appealing: the fact that we can learn intimate details of a person's life without actually having to interact with them. 'I've gotten 25 random things notices from people that absolutely fascinated me," said Mr. C, the actor. 'But I'm pretty certain I wouldn't want to be stuck on a bus with them telling me these things.'"

And as much as I love stalking people and seeing pictures, I'd rather be taking the pictures or be in them instead of just looking at them. I did have the hardest time convincing myself to delete it. I've actually been considering it for a couple months now. And when I actually told someone I was going to do it. I told them I was going to delete it tomorrow. But then I talked to someone else about it and he said to do it right now -as in: as-soon-as-we-sit-down-at-the-table-in-the-library-now. So we did. And I honestly am glad I did. I'm glad I have my life back. Or at least the chance to have one.

From the same article as above: "'Whatever happened to talking to people face-to-face?' she wrote in an e-mail message. 'Since when do we have to give our friends synopses or overviews of our lives? Anyone who wants to know 25 things about me can call me
or ask me.'"

And that's pretty much how I feel now. If you really care about me and want to know about my life, you can have my cell phone number. And we can talk about it.

two balls or three?

So this girl brought her son to class today. I think he is maybe 1? 1 and a half? Doesn't really matter, I guess. He is so stinkin' cute. And of course I can't pay attention now when he is sitting on the ground next to me making the funniest faces. It makes me want one of my own.

But then, he gets up and starts running around. And falls down. And starts crying. And I realize I really don't want one right now. Especially because I still have to go to classes and stuff. Poor girl. She's a saint for juggling classes and a baby. Literally. Juggling.

I can't juggle. I was never good at it.

oh happy day.

Can I tell you what a happy day it was on Friday?

i figured out how to write in bold and italics on gmail chat.

Life just got a little more emphasized.

Then what's the point?!?!

One of my coworkers has swine flu. Which means I got the privilege of waking up before the crack of dawn yesterday and traveling through the quiet of the sleeping BYU world. And open up for work at 6:45 in the a.m.(BACKGROUND NOTE: The on-campus housing area where I work has graciously invited the children of the neighborhood across the street to come to each of the dorms and trick-or-treat at each of the student's doors.)

And besides the fact that opening yesterday meant I didn't have to work today, I got one special treat out of it. Around 9 a.m. I received a phone call from a very concerned father. He called us to tell us to please PLEASE please make sure that the students passed out healthy treats (isn't that an oxymoron?) and snacks to the children.

Excuse me while I sit here and try to understand what else this commercial holiday is all about. Because apparently, Halloween shouldn't be all about candy.

millions of keys, just for me.

These are what my life will consist of at work for the next month (and a half, if I'm being completely honest with myself):

Thank heavens it will only be the 'informal' key inventory. Not the official one. That one is bound to take all next semester.

My personal race?

"I have won races that taught me nothing, but I have rarely lost a race that has not taught me something. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that losing is the same as failing. You don't always win from a winning position, but you rarely lose from a losing position. And you are far more likely to make your way to that winning position if you have the courage to learn from the mistakes you make along the way."

- Sebastian Coe, Olympic Gold Medalist and Silver Medalist

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my race. I can't seem to catch a break. I tend to have an exam (or two or three, to be exact) every week with no time to stop and breathe. I feel like I am running through this semester with the lungs of an ASTHMATIC person. Short little gasps and panting, bent over with my hands on my knees digging down deep to find the courage and strength to stand back up and keep running. This isn't a race for a prize or a leisurely stroll. Instead in is an endurance test - of my determination and will, my ability to focus and prioritize, of my strength to go on.

And I'm certainly not winning the endurance test, but I can promise you, I'm definitely learning the greater lessons from the losing side. And that makes me a winner anyways.

reason #832 why I love college

A) it rained last night
B) we didn't have a tent
C) or waterproof sleeping bags
D) we did have a sheet of PAINTER'S PLASTIC
E) between the 4 of us, we maybe got 6 hours of sleep
F) about 1,000 people cut us in line to get into GameDay
G) we were the first people at Kneaders
H) we went to bed for real around 8 a.m.
I) i wouldn't trade last night
for the world.

Want a picture of our campsite?

I know, you're jealous.
but you shouldn't be.

Lag time and lists.

"You're forgetting about lag time. -- Everything you do has a lag time. It takes a while for your efforts to pay off. Like when you go on a diet-- you don't lose weight right away, it takes a few weeks for your body to drop some pounds. Once people understand that you love them, they'll forgive your mistakes. For some things the lag time is weeks, for others it's years or even decades. But things do get better. Things will get better." - a very very wise woman named Carolyn

My lag time must be 21 years and counting. Because sometimes I still can't seem to make my efforts pay off.

My problem is I have all these crazy ideas that turn into "goals" I plan on accomplishing (usually starting my list at New Years' and then it fizzles off into nothing by the end of March/beginning of April).

And my list is quite extensive of things I want to do but have never done. Because I have the teensy tiny problem of never actually finishing anything I start. Ever. So I thought maybe now would be a good time to start?

Want a small sampling from my list?

1. run a marathon
2. get a passport
3. keep a journal
4. get a scuba diving license
5. learn to cook

I am taking hope in the fact that "...things do get better. Things will get better." So... here's to making things better instead of just waiting for it.

college gameday is coming to PROVO!

And it's already here!
Not going to lie. I'm stoked. And I'm camping out.
but wait! Who needs to camp out and and then try to get on ESPN with all the other hordes of fans attempting to get one screenshot of themselves out to the nation? ESPN came to me.

Well..... let's clarify that. ESPN came to coleby clawson - the guy who took out sam bradford here:
















and who also sits a couple rows ahead of me in ortho class.

Actually I kinda feel bad for the guy. If this is what being famous is like....

Then no thanks. I'd rather be invisible and free.
But I'm still camping out.

celebrate!

Guess what I discovered last weekend?
I am this many classes away from graduating:

1

2
3

4

5

6

7

8.

Only EIGHT classes away from finishing my undergrad. And now I am feeling relieved/ excited/ nervous/ stoked/ enthusiastic/ hopeful/ determined/ scared/ comforted/ and astonished all at once. Is that even possible? Must be, I guess....

P.S. I have SENIORITIS like crazy.

Who says summer is over? Not us.

Thanks to the creative genius of one certain BRYCE DAVID MORGAN, I went boating again on Saturday. We took a little jaunt up the Deer Creek and decided to take his as-of-right-now-unnamed-boat for it's second voyage. (The maiden voyage was the night before in the middle of the night on "the best date of her life".)


Would you like to see what our handsome vessel looked like?

Too bad we forgot all our cameras. It was so fun rowing around the lake and spinning in circles and circles. And building a dock. And entertaining the old people who were sitting at the top of the hill wondering what the crazy kids were doing down below. And then someone else decided to capsize us into the FREEEEEEZING cold lake. But all in all, it was a fabulous adventure. Followed up by a quick dip in the HOT HOT springs in Midway.

To all you summer-lovers: heads up! boating season is still open.

My new craving?

So I've decided what I want to do with my next tax return. Last year's was Hawaii. (So completely worth it! Hands down.) This next one will be for something a little less.... extravagant. I want a sewing machine. THis one to be specific:

I guess taking those sewing lessons in high school ended up being good for something other than random pieces of clothing that I no longer have. But now that I don't have one accessible, I want one. Isn't that how it is with everything in life?

But seriously. I'm having a creative-crafty-craving.

hasta luego.

I'm disappearing for a week and a bit. I have 4 muy difficile exams and lots of stress. So much that I can't sleep at night because I worry too much. In order to eliminate mucho time wasting and procrastination, I'm not getting on the facey or on here until next week.

Farewell until then. I hope I make it back.

Soirée

Someone had a party at my apartment last night. I'm not quite sure who it was. It was a BLACK TIE affair. And there were fancy shmancy drinks and loads of cheese and crackers. And we just danced the night away. Literally. And it was some of the most fun I've had in a long time.

I sure would like to say thank you to the Swordfish Seven - whoever they are - for putting it on. Shame that they won't reveal themselves. But I am grateful all the same.

(and my camera is in my car which is not at my house. so more pictures to come later. and maybe if you're lucky, there might even be a video!)

The smell of victory? It's in the air.

You know how there are some smells and tastes that just stick in your head? Even ones from when you are little? Like Thanksgivings where the smell of turkey emanated throughout the house for hours and your mouth watered for just as long. Or Christmas time and you can smell the cider and hot chocolate and pine everytime you open the front door. And all the goodies baking in the kitchen. They tend to stick in your head. And then when you stick them in your mouth, sometimes it is a wondrous thing. But sometimes it can be a disappointment. Like the first time you tried to eat playdough.

However, today's taste of victory will be oh so sweet. T- 1.25 hours. And then it will be mine. Because this ridiculous cast will be off my leg. AND my foot will be FREE!

hallelujah.

what my foot will look like in 1 hour:

I want to be Blair Waldorf for these reasons:

I LOVE a good headband. Props to the designers who have brought headbands back into fashion and made them so uber cute. These are by Bambako. Unfortunately a teensy bit out of my price range. But they are so fun to look at! (thank you GB for the heads up on these!)

Please and Thank You.

Yes, the WEATHER was a chilly today. And yes, I was wearing shorts. AND sandals. The cool brisk 37 degrees of chill outside in the morning cannot deter me from avoiding the fact that the snow season is coming up. However, I dressed for the high temperature of this fantabulous October day. Not the morning one. So, now it is quite pleasant outside and sandals and shorts perfectly suit me and this balmy 54 degree weather. Please and thank you, I would like one, just one more day to have the opportunity to put both feet into sandals - not one in a sandal and one in a cast, thank you.

ALSO, I would like to formally apologize to the guy who sits next to me in math class. Yes, I have had a cast on my legs for almost 6 weeks. Yes, it is quite, quite hairy as it is next to impossible to shave it -trust me, I tried. It is probably more painful for me to look at than for you. Perhaps you dislike the fact that the amount of hair on my leg is competing with yours? Or the fact that you are so captivated by this phenomenon that you cannot focus on the chalkboard or what the professor is saying.

However, you Sir, may celebrate come class time on FRIDAY. I will be rid of this cantankerous thing. And then, you are free to stare at our moustached-and-portly-enough-to-resemble-Professor-Slughorn-from-Harry-Potter-professor and try to decrypt the mumbo-jumbo of scribblings on the board that by some MIRACLE translate to be the lecture for the day.

I, on the other hand, will celebrate by shaving off a piece of me. Or many pieces of me. And I will wear sandals one more time.

Oh Brooklyn, Brooklyn Take Me In.....

So this about the time I start giving up on school. After the first wave of tests, I start overthinking everything. And by overthink, I mean BIG time overthink. Like start thinking about how I'm going nowhere and then how I shouldn't even be here in the first place. Then I have to start re-thinking everything I'm doing.

And all this overthinking makes me sick and not able to sleep at night. ERGO, I have a very stuffy nose right now. And I am wishing for some Nyquil and my bed. However, duty calls. So off to work I go...... but maybe I should give up on that too.

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to take time off of school and go to brooklyn. and new ro. and everywhere else in westchester that are near and dear to mi corazon. Or anywhere, really.
So, I will listen to THIS song, and wish I was back there instead of feeling sick out here.

ughhh

soooo, my iphone automatically updated itself on itunes when i wasn't really paying attention. and NOW it doesn't work. it upgraded the firmware to a version that doesn't support the apps that let you jailbreak it. I know how to downgrade it back to the version I need, and jailbreak it so it will work on tmobile... minus the fact that i can't do any of that without one key thing--- an AT&T sim card. the one thing I don't have.
but i do have a headache.

"nice wigs, weirdos" - best comment of the night by a stranger

So.....it is a plain and simple FACT that when we get together, the laughing starts and it doesn't really stop. Today was another example of that.

4 girls + one crazy Halloween store + 10 minutes of decision + 20 minutes of hysterical laughter in the bathroom = 4 girls in wigs walking around the mall with NO shame for priceless memories.

I would not have it ANY other way. photo shoot tomorrow?
i think yes!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

This one is for you, girl!

Kinseybug.

Tomorrow is going to be one of the hardest days of your week, month, year.
The sun is going to pound down on you like you've never known.
Your feet will feel the pain of every single step, every dip, bump, pebble and ridge of that path.
Your legs will quiver with dread of going even a little bit farther.
The hill ahead will seem like the impossible feat you could never accomplish.
And every mile will feel like eternity.

But guess what. I have faith in you. I know you can do it. Because you cannot be beaten by the sun, the path or the distance.
You will make it. And every drop of sweat will be worth it.
I promise.



LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE,
me

"October is Scary."

October is here!! Fall has semi-erupted here in Cougar Town.
Football every weekend, crunchy leaves on the ground. It was supposed to SNOW yesterday. Thank the slight-above-freezing temperatures that it didn't. Please bid farewell to smores, sunshine, and sleeping in and welcome in with open arms the chilly days where sweaters/cardigans, boots and hot chocolate are regularly on display. Oooohhh, so excited for Hot Apple Cider and PUMPKIN rolls!!

I guess it's true what some old wise guy named Albert Einstein said. "Not everything that can be counted counts,and not everything that counts can be counted."

NOW, what should I be for HALLOWEEN?

ode to the fresh meat.

dear lost, confused and scared freshman,

You lost your key. And after you finished freaking out about it, I got you a new one. But you left me Mommy and Daddy’s number to call instead of yours. And when I called to tell you your new key was here, Mommy answered the phone and got scared because she thought something had happened to her precious child. So, let’s do everyone a favor here. Maybe start being a teensy bit responsible. Start giving out YOUR number sometimes, okay? You DO go to college, after all.

muchas muchas muchas gracias,

older, yet still sometimes lost,
confused and scared college student

On my honor?

Do you remember the days when giving your word of honor actually meant something? When your word of honor was a BIG DEAL. When contracts were sealed with a handshakes and a promise was all it took? With no contracts, no lawyers, no signatures anywhere in sight. What happened to those days? Will we ever get them back? I wish.

Now that I am a "grown-up", apparently the hardest distinction to make in the professional world is the one that separates these two things. 1 - What we have the right to do. and 2 - What is the right thing to do? They are not always the same.

What happened to morals and a code of ethics? Maybe if we all had honor we wouldn't need a Board of Ethics to help us determine what is right. Apparently now we get to choose between 3 ethic 'approaches'.

1 - Focusing on the end result --- "what's going to happen if I do this?" or aiming to maximize good consequences instead of bad ones.
2 - "science of duty" --- doing what we feel we ought to do.
3 - Acting on the kind of person you want to be --- developing into a 'virtuous' person because of the actions you've already taken.

I'd like to thank Karl G. Maeser for having a word of honor, and keeping it. And saying this quote that makes everyone else want to keep their word of honor:

"I have been asked what I mean by my word of honor. I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls-- ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground - there is a possibility that in some way or another I will escape; but stand me on a floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the Circle? No. Never! I would die first."

'Adjectives Illuminate A Gloomy Page....'

I am not a wordsmith. I have no gift of tongue, no twisting or arranging of words to create a profound and prolific thought that in turn leads others to think. (And I'm not writing this to get anyone to say otherwise, I'm just simply stating it - not fishing for compliments.) That is not my gift - if anything, that's Lisette's. And although I can twist other people's words to make them sound pretty, it's not quite the same thing.

I've always admired authors and poets and public speakers and songwriters because they have the gift I don't. Being able to string words and sentences together that just sound so pretty. And how sometimes they have incredible meanings, but other times, they do it just because they like how it sounds. Robert Frost said, "All the fun's in how you say a thing." And it's true. Some of my favorite words come from songs I've heard or poems I read when I was younger. And now, I find new ones every day. For example, The Avett Brothers have some incredible lyrics. I'm slightly, minorly obsessed with them because of this. Sometimes I wonder how they do it. And then I simply listen in awe.

"When nothing is old deserved or respected/ And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected/ If you're loved by someone you're never rejected/ Decide what to be and go be it."

This twisting of words and connecting with someone's soul leads to the creation of thoughts. I was reading about words today. By a woman who simply puts them down for others to enjoy, because she, indeed, is a wordsmith. She wrote the seemingly unimportant line, "Adjectives illuminate a gloomy page" in the midst of a paragraph on how to create a sentence that has energy. And the very next thought that came into my head was how friends are like those adjectives - when your days are feeling gloomy, there are rays of sunshine breaking through.

I would be remiss if I did not appreciate the sunshine in my life. So, no more focusing on the clouds and gray skies. I'm going to focus on the light breaking through.

(Kinsey, I had to find a picture that had you in it from forever ago, just so you could be in this post too. And I would have a picture with the boys except I can't seem to find any. I guess girls just take more pictures than guys.)