This one's for you, gentlemen.....

Father's Day was a week ago, and so technically this is late. BUT, I did start thinking about this back in May. I just lost my notes and recently remembered where I put them. So, despite it being a good 6 days after Father's Day, I wanted to put it up.

First of all, I've given a lot to who has shaped me into the person that I am today. And I wanted to say out loud how much I LOVE my daddy. And my brothers. They are the greatest guys I've ever known. And, to be completely honest, I am semi-intimidated to bring anyone home to meet them because they are so amazing and no one can live up to the great guys that they are. I'm glad we'll be together for eternity. And I don't know if I can put into words how much you mean to me. And Dad, I love you so, so much. The older I get, the more I realize how much I'm like you. And I love it.

And for all you other guys, I did want to say thank you. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
*(I think I need to give a couple disclaimers first: 1- Mr. A is not the same Mr. A previously blogged about. 2- These are in no particular order. 3 - This list spans years. 4 - Because I wanted to have a complete A-Z thing, I did write about three of you twice. Because I could....)

Mr. A - Thanks for still being my friend despite all my awkwardness. Band was not the same.
Mr. B - Thanks for teaching me that being early has it's perks. I loved waiting for you to come. And the rushing was worth it.
Mr. C - You were the only one who didn't care that I wore overalls my first day of school in NY. Fashion faux pas, yes; friendship ruiner; no. Plus the fact that you had the cutest smile EVER didn't hurt. Thanks for giving me the confidence I left behind in Texas.
Mr. D - First kiss. We'll always have that. Thanks for the memories. And the laughter.
Mr. E - For those rides home when I couldn't stay any longer. And you didn't care about leaving the party early. Thanks.
Mr. F - Thanks for teaching me that my first impressions are usually wrong. In a really really good way.
Mr. G - That one email was worth everything else.
Mr. H - Thank you for that one perfect season, the late nights, the shenanigans, the ridiculousness of it all. I wouldn't trade any of it, ever. That year was incredible.
Mr. I - I don't know if I can say anything here that won't let the whole world know who you are. But you are something else. In a really really really good way.
Mr. J -Thanks for your time. And thanks for being there when I needed you.
Mr. K - Thanks for the music. It definitely has lasted for a long while.
Mr. L - Thanks for being untouchable.
Mr. M - Thanks for being my older brother's best friend. I really did have the biggest crush on you. That's why I wouldn't talk to you or look you in the eye. And now thanks for being my friend.
Mr. N - So unexpected. But so welcome. Thank you for the impromptu, unpredictability.
Mr. O - Thanks for making work worth all the effort. Maybe if we didn't compete so much, we'd have less to argue about. But then again, we wouldn't have had as much fun.
Mr. P - Thanks for teaching me that sitting there saying nothing gets me nowhere. If only I'd learned that before you walked out of my life.
Mr. Q - I wish I could sit you down across from me and spill my heart out to you. Because I know you'd actually listen to me and actually care about what I was saying.
Mr. R - To me, you were the perfect one. But thanks for treating me like I was.
Mr. S - Thanks for the dance. And the candy cane.
Mr. T - I actually mean it when I say thank you for (how do I put this so it comes out right?)..... letting me learn that sometimes two people weren't meant for each other. And realizing that's okay.
Mr. U - Thanks for being so good at sports. And letting me beat you despite that fact.
Mr. V - The 2 a.m. conversation standing outside in the middle of winter in Utah. Definitely opened my eyes.
Mr. W - For the fact that there is no pressure. That we can be ourselves.
Mr. X - You enlightened me to looking at the good things. Thank you for helping me realize that life wasn't as bad as my 16-year old self pictured it to be.
Mr. Y - Thank you for jumping. Past all the beginning awkwardness, past my facade. Thanks for seeing the real me.
Mr. Z - Thank you for teaching me that life is sometimes more about what happens when you don't plan than what happens when you do.

Once you begin to acknowledge random acts of kindness - both the ones you have received and the ones you have given - you can no longer believe that what you do does not matter. - Dawna Markova

Thank you gentlemen, for your small acts. Because they were so very, very big to me.

So I know this is cliché...

But I was curious to see what I had/hadn't done on this list. (my personal bucket list has some different things on it.)

(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(x) Been to Hawaii (I'm counting this one because I'll be there in 2 months!)
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost
(x) Gone to Washington D.C.
( ) Met a president of the U.S.
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain-naked
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
(x) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
(x) Been sky diving (also counting this one…. 2 weeks and 2 days away)
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
(x) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
(x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
( ) Been horseback riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(x) Been to Disneyland OR Disney World
(x) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Been spinnaker flying
(x) Been water-skiing/wakeboarding
(x) Been snow-skiing/snowboarding
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(x) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. g.b.h.

So I’ve had a lot of ups and downs lately. And more downs than ups. I was trying to fall asleep the other night when I started listing out all of the awful things that have happened to me in the past 20 or so days. And then I realized that I was being ridiculously negative about everything. And then I went to sleep. End of story. Except that’s not the end.

So now I made a list of everything I have to smile about (in no particular order):

1. These crazy people. They’re incredible and I LOVE them. AND, they will be here in approximately one week.

2. I have an awesome job. Crazy EFY kids make my day. And keys. And RAs. And copies.

3. I live (slash hang out with people who basically live at my apartment) with some awesome people. (and will, in the fall -- please don't feel left out tearbear) Random pillow fights over nothing. Girl talk – all the time. About everything.

4. Grover - He is fabulous and wonderful. And quite dependable. He gets me to where I need to be so easily which makes my feet so so happy.

5. I wrote this really awesome limerick the other Sunday. – spur of the moment, completely off the top of my head and it was awesome. I’ll have to go find it and post it on here.

6. School is cool. And over with for the summer.

7. utah is BEAUTIFUL in springtime/ summer. I love mountains. And cabins in the mountains. And hiking. And playing tennis. And walking into Christian’s backyard and feeling like I’m in the jungle.

8. I have the best friends in the whole wide world. Do I really need to elaborate on this one? I think not.

9. According to "Ricky", I will always be an Angel Princess. ;)

10. I have a crush on this one amazing guy. He doesn’t know. At all. On purpose. He’s not going to know… At least not for awhile. There’s a lot more to this story, but due to lack of time constraints, you don’t get to hear it. Sorry.

11. I have a lot on my plate for this summer: rodeo, concerts, operas, hot tubs, tube the provo river, skydiving, demolition derby, road trip(s!), doctor's appointment, freedom festival, 4th of JULY, SLC day trips, pillow fights (i blame kinsey), parades!, hot air balloons, shopping, plane rides, seeing people!, work, motorcycle rides, joy rides, books, pictures, go karts, putt-putt, winning the jackpot, a new cell phone, the aquarium, scary movies + more. needless to say, i'm excited.

12. I’m getting on a plane in less 2 months and going to this FABULOUS place called HAWAII. Maybe you've heard of it? 10 days of bliss, the beach, sleeping on the beach, being tan for once this summer, the beach, humidity!, hiking volcanoes, the beach.... I'm super excited for it.

13. I can go running! 2.5+ months of not being able to move my foot or put it in a shoe is slowly, yet surely coming to an end. Hallelujah. Thank you Dr. Tom Rogers. Plus, there’s this one pair of shoes I’ve been slowly breaking in just for this reason. They look like this, except mine are orange! :)

14. These crazy boys are home or coming home soon. I'm excited for the fun to start again.

P.S. Don't worry Kinz. Yours is in the works. :)

Never again.

I got a paper cut a little while ago. It’s not like a huge deal that I should be thinking about or even caring about, except for the fact that it intrudes into the peacefulness (HA!) of my day constantly. I’ve gotten paper cuts before, everyone has. Minor scratches we try to avoid. I handle paper products all the time - file folder, notecards, boxes, scrap pieces, heaven knows reams and reams of copies – I’ve learned how to NOT get a paper cut. I haven’t had one for so long that now it really stings. And now that I have it, I'm forced to think about it. It's almost impossible to ignore. I use my hands all the time. Work, typing, answering phones, school, driving, opening a door, texting, shopping, you name it, I use them. The worst was when I was putting mousse in my hair and instead of it being rubbed into my hair, it simply rubbed into the paper cut.

It’s just a simple nuisance that I can’t get out of my mind. As hard as I try to ignore it, it hurts. It was just surprising and unwanted after all the precautions I’ve taken to NOT get one. Mostly because I didn’t expect it and didn’t think it would happen to me. This old paper cut doesn’t even realize what it’s done to my character. Thank you for letting me learn from this experience. You may not appreciate the sacrifices that I did to avoid something like this from happen, but that’s okay because now I’m a new person. And a paper cut won’t ever hurt this badly again.

HOT or NOT?

So in honor of the movie last night, I'm starting a HOT or NOT list. But not like the one on the movie. (sorry, kins....I'm pretty sure I can't get away with that one :) as much fun as that would be.)

So today's HOT: I can bend my toe. Hallelujah. Almost exactly 2.5 months after having a little construction done, this is miraculous. Literally... it's a miracle. It was so that I would be able to get my full range of motion back to where it was before surgery. This was meant to break up the connective tissue that was getting in the way. He did the smaller parts on the first 2 jabs. And then on the 3rd jab, I could almost instantly tell that my toe could move. It was so... surreal. In the 3 seconds that that jab was in my foot - which felt more like 3 years - I could instantly tell my foot was getting better. A miracle.


[the first picture is the day i got my surgery done - an interesting day, to say the least. To say the most: I basically spilled ALL my secrets to my older brother when I was coming back into consciousness. Because of this, I no longer hesitate to tell him anything. Mostly because he'll hear it anyways on September 4th. :) Lucky him. The other two pictures are from the day they cut my cast off. And I almost put up the other ones, but I thought I'd save them for later. In the third picture you can see where they wrote 'yes' on my foot to make sure that they operated on the correct one so that I wouldn't sue them later. Except I have to get surgery on both feet, so it wouldn't have mattered if they did do the other foot.]

today's NOT: (sorry if this next part semi-grosses anyone out...) I got a needle that was about 3 inches long repeatedly inserted (read:jabbed!) into my toe. I'm not normally one to cry about anything. Instead, I just made do with yelling "ow" as loud as I possibly could in order to deter anyone who was thinking about possibly getting the same surgery I did. However, I can't really badmouth this lovely shot that I was so blessed to receive multiple times. I can now stand on my tippy-toes. I guess I took that for granted before. (Kind of like how much I take crinkling my nose for granted. And then when I get a sunburn, I realize how much I hate not being able to crinkle it - especially because I crinkle my nose when I'm laughing. Ergo, getting a sunburn = no laughing.) I have renewed my 7 year old dreams of being a ballet dancer now that I can stand on tippy-toes (both of them!!)...... So I guess what this means is that however much I want this to be a 'NOT', it really deserves to be a 'HOT'.

And now I really should get back to studying up on gene expression and the lac operon. Tomorrow's final exam (20 essays, ranging from 4 sentences to a page each): piece of cake. I hope - no, I KNOW.

♥ ♥ ♥

Today during molecular biology while my professor was discussing the benefits of shotgun cloning in bacterial plasmids and the possible complications of splicing the antibiotic resistant genes, (did you get lost there? I did.) I decided it was time for me to "fine-tune" the details of my life. And what better way to this than to use the wonderfully delicious 8th grade (and 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th and college) game of MASH. So amazingly simple. The particulars of my life just fell into my lap.

I'm super excited to let the 4 of you who read this blog know the DETAILS! Just FYI: I just played the basic version - I don't want to know everything. What's the fun in knowing the complete specifics?! I just wanted the major outline. (I actually really did use real names and specific professions.... except that might creep a couple of people out, so I changed them - just to A, B and C and then generic professions. I'd be a bit freaked out if someone wrote about my future on a blog.) Anyways, here are my results:

I will be getting married to Mr. A (♥♥!!) in NY. Mr. A is planning on a future as a brilliant lawyer, who makes approximately $100K. (not bad, eh?) We're going to have a fabulous honeymoon in the dreamy country of Greece. When we finish all our schooling, we will be living in our decadent mansion in the capricious, volatile state of California with a toyota tundra and a honda pilot being our vehicles of choice. I will be working as temerarious race car driver making about $50K from my winnings (ok, and losings) until we decide to start our small family of about 6 children. When we get a little wistful for another child, we'll add to it by getting a dog.

Well, folks, there you have it! My deliciously grand future is now written down. That means it has to happen, right? Actually, I did this twice just to see what the difference was. I will admit, I definitely loved circling some options and was a little heartbroken to have to cross off others.

Most of all, I am so pleased to inform you that I am 98% sure that none of this is going to happen the way MASH told me it was. So in conclusion, splicing DNA will now be linked to a fanciful, fake future, which in reality will never happen. All in all, this was one of the most rewarding molecular biology lectures to which I never paid attention.

a hello and a smile

This might be completely random and have tons of tangents, but this has been on my mind. So now it's getting put on here.

So I went to dinner on Sunday (which was fabulous, by the way. Thank you, Kellys). A tiny part of that wonderful conversation was about how we interact with other people and how it does wonders just to smile at people. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, especially when I'm at work. Because I constantly interact with people. A big part of my job is customer service. And I will freely admit, there are some days when I would love to shake some common sense into a couple of the EFY kids. (I don't - which I think is very big of me. I mean seriously, how is it possible that you lock yourself in your room? HA. I understand locking yourself out, but not in.)
But after working here for 2+ years, I can definitely tell a difference between the days when I bring my attitude to work with me, or leave it at home. The whole "fake it 'til you make it" saying is so true when it comes to customer service. You go to work. You are getting paid to help other people, to solve problems, to come up with creative unique ideas. Why would you want to bring the drama from last night into work to ruin the mood? I think I just want to be able to make a difference everyday. And if I can do that by cheerfully doing what I'm already supposed to be doing, maybe - just maybe - I'll make someone else's day better. (Go watch Pike Place Market if you want to see some good customer service. They don't have the whole video up, but you can get a smidgen of what they do. I want to go there just because they make it seem so fun. We show this to our new employees at work.)

And I think we all need to stop looking at people with judgemental eyes, me especially. A lot of times I automatically judge someone (Kinz you know what I'm talking about haha) even when I don't mean to. And I am please to say that I am often wrong - probably 95% of the time. I try to remember that whether I realize it or not, they have feelings too. It is amazing what can happen when you put yourself out there and talk to a complete stranger. The more I think about it, the more I realize that some of the greatest friends I have are the result of a smile and a simple hello. One of my favorite videos is about this. (Granted, it is a commercial, but just ignore that when you watch it.) I don't know why, but it just makes me happy.

so 2000 and late.

Is it just me or is the first blog post always the most awkward one? Seriously. I feel like you're obligated to give a reason for having a blog.... i.e. "We just got married!" (No offense to anyone who did that....I'm just not married yet, so I can't use that excuse.) I guess I do have a reason.....but it's not super cool one.

I decided this is my summer to do stuff that I've always put off. To start crossing things off my "bucket" list. Ergo, this blog was born. [Muchos gracias to Chris Hill for the blog title. I owe you.] And I know starting a blog is so not the trend anymore. But, so what? I'm actually already enjoying it. And I'm starting to think that everything that doesn't come out of my mouth will probably end up on this blog.

Anyways. That's the end of my first awkward post. It's over. I never have to do that again! Hallelujah. So what next?