"The Sandra Bullock Trade"

So it's definitely been a down week. And we won't go into that because that is a wee bit of a sore subject. (Jessi, thank you so much for understanding. Emailing you helped mucho. You are the best.) All I can say is that I am having a semi-hard time being happy right now. Not overall, but there are some aspects that I am having a really hard time with.

But then I read this op-ed, entitled "The Sandra Bullock Trade". And realized it was definitely something I needed to read today.

some of my favorite lines? (in no particular order)

1. "Modern societies have developed vast institutions oriented around the things that are easy to count, not around the things that matter most. They have an affinity for material concerns and a primordial fear of moral and social ones."

2. "Marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being. If you have a successful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many professional setbacks you endure, you will be reasonably happy. If you have an unsuccessful marriage, it doesn’t matter how many career triumphs you record, you will remain significantly unfulfilled."

3. "The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting." (I LOVE that he used the word injurious.)

Anyways, it was just my thought for the morning. Back to busting out some papers.

And I'm getting quite excited for GC this weekend.

xoxox

Seven Years.

To think that starting when I was 15, BYU couldn't get out of the first round of the tournament. AND NOW WE BROKE THAT DRY SPELL. double overtime.

99-92. bring it on, 2nd round.

Totally worth my chem professor putting it up on the big screen and giving up on teaching us anything. AND worth the blister I got from running (read: sprinting) around campus to watch the end. oh so worth it.

thank you jimmer and michael loyd jr.

p.s. i'm winning in all my bracket groups right now. haha i wonder how long it will last. not long.

happy st. patrick's day.

I'm not a fan of St. Patrick's Day. I am only wearing green because I think I get a treat in chemistry if I do. (haha - oh what I will do for candy. I'm like a little child.) But I couldn't think of a better title.
Anyways, we got to see some of our engagment pics yesterday! And I'm kind of in love with them so I'm putting some here.(I'm sorry about the kissing photo. I just think it's a cool shot.)

Anyways. They just make me happy. :) :)


OH.
p.s. I applied for graduation today!
Hallelujah.

I love having good friends.

I just found out 3 of our friends went and bought me and David tickets to vampire weekend as our birthday presents!!! (mine is soon, his is april 1 and the concert is in between them.) Oh, so stoked to see them.

But even more grateful for the amazing people in my life.


- Posted from iPhone

one ring, one knee, one question.

Remember this post? Turns out I need to rewrite the ending. Apparently fairy tales do come true. And somehow it is never how you think. And little did I know, what I wrote then as a silly story ended up to be me writing the future. If I may be so bold as to quote myself:

"together they would take steps into the future knowing that someday everything would all work out - and that even through the fighting and arguing and possible manipulation, there would always be laughter and charm and love."

Yes. Eerily creepy. And yet I predicted the future? Kinda weird. I'll have to do the rewrite later once I have time to stop and breathe.



In short, (and by short, I mean the condensed concise version) here is the story of what happened a little more than a week ago:

Basically, it was our first "date" all over again. (It was before we were actually dating, but we think this counts because we kissed that night and that is how it all began.) It is one of our favorite days ever, so I think it is perfect that we did the same things that night too.

Red Robin, Sammy's pieshakes and Deer Creek. Over summer, it went wakeboarding at Deer Creek, dinner at Red Robin, movie, pieshakes at Sammy's. And it was the same thing that night in a slightly different order except you can't really go wakeboarding right now because of 8 inches of ice on the lake.

I thought it was just going to be our 'official' celebration of 6 months. So when we started going to all the same places, I just thought we were reminiscing - same place for dinner, same place for dessert. Then we went up to Deer Creek and were sledding and running around and playing on the ice all by ourselves under this incredible night sky. Huge bright full moon and everything. I didn't think he had a ring because of what he'd been telling me for awhile, so when he did actually pull it out when we were standing on ice, I was shocked. I actually said no at first because I was so surprised.

Anyways, in exactly 3 months from today, we are getting married!! MAY 8th. In Bountiful. That seems so far away and yet there is so much we have to do in 3 months. School mostly. And hopefully everything else falls into place!

I still can't really wrap my head around the fact that I kinda predicted the future. I just think it's funny. But I am glad I did. :)

Kinsey and Jenny, this one is for you :) :)

We bought a real ring this weekend!!!! I don't have it yet cause it's not ready but this is basically what it looks like:

I LOVE it.

and I was kind of sad I didn't get to leave the shop with it on my finger. So I guess the fake one will be retired sometime after Thursday! Even though this one is so pretty too!

We got SOOOOO much done this weekend. Everything "time critical". Which takes off so much stress from me. Hallelujah! Now back to focusing on school stuff. I will add more later. I have to give up the computer now. But since you asked, I figured you deserved this.

Where'd all the Good people go?

I found one. One good person. I don't know his name. But he made an impression on me. Not because of his awesome hair, or his smartly pressed uniform, or spiffy shoes or the accent he didn't have. But because he did a good deed. And he did it for nothing.

Imagine being passed up by a full bus after waiting and waiting and watching and hoping. It's kind of saddening. And then all of a sudden, a bus that we weren't waiting for pulls up, asks us where we are going, tells us we won't be able to make it there because the bus we need to get on will be too full and that we should get on his bus and he will take us to where we can get on the bus that we need.

We were pretty stoked about that. But, it gets even better! We got on the bus and he wouldn't let us pay the fee! AND he gave us a free transfer! He didn't do it for personal gain or to get something from us. He was just a nice guy giving six girls a way to get to where they wanted to go.

He made my day. And now I'm going to pass it on and make someone else's day. Not because I want something or anything like that - We just need more good people in this world. And I want to be one. And I'm grateful for each one that touches my life.

Homesick but happy.

I got to walk around Salt Lake City last night. And the fact that the whole city wasn't dead and quiet by 10 o'clock made me so excited.

People were walking around and joking and laughing. There were random parties and concerts happening on street corners and in parks. And the people walking around weren't your normal -run-of-the-mill people. They had character and personality. It reminded me SO much of NYC. And I got a little homesick.

But then driving home late at night, I saw something wonderful. As you drive on the freeway and get to the edge of American Fork and Pleasant Grove, I drove over the hill and saw a beautiful sight. From way off to the side of the mountain, I got to see this: (Minus the line of light going up to it - this picture is kind of old. They light it up a different way now.)

And seeing this really isn't that big a deal. They light it up for the graduation ceremonies every semester and for homecoming in the fall. (They lit it up again tonight for the second night of graduation. I'm sitting here in my living room, and I love that I can see it from my couch.) But for some reason, it kind of hit me at this point how much I love being in Utah.

Yes, I love New York, and I always will. It is such an important part of my life and it is the place I dream about constantly because I miss it so so much. But, Utah is home. I live here now. And as much as I first hated coming out here to this strange world that is so completely different from NY, it has grown on me. I hated a lot of things about this place - mostly the fact that I wasn't really happy here.

But now, sometimes I can't bear to think of leaving it. As much as everything here can get chaotic and frustrating and seem so overwhelming, this is home. This is where my heart is now.

So last night just kind of made this transition feel so real. I saw SLC and loved it and missed NYC. But then that Y on the mountain just felt so right. Homesick and happy. Is that even possible? I guess so. And that's how I like it.

Some are scared to fly so high. Well, this is how we have to try - have no envy, no fear. j.radin

"One day you will feel like you know what you are doing."

That is the piece of wisdom I read today while getting my daily fill of the news. And my first thought was 'Really? I don't believe it.' I think the older I get, the more I realize I don't know. I've been blessed to be working at the same job for the past 2 years. And I do know a lot.

My list of accomplishments from this job include (but definitely are not limited to): interior design, prop building, binder assembling, becoming a copy-making fiend, preparations dances, scheduling - then re-scheduling - a building, computer hacking skills, repair skills-including anything from pool cues to printers, safety and security, and teaching my managers how to call people anonymously, etc....
But, as comfortable and confident as I sometimes feel, I still don't know everything. Most of the time, I can find the answer to a question and help someone, but there are still a lot of things that I don't know.

Well, today I realized that I already knew the most important thing about my job. I know how to help someone. Even if I don't know the answer. A big part of having a job like mine, at least to me, is your customer service. I think it's HUGELY important - the way you treat people is the reflection of the love and respect you have for them. Especially when you don't know them.

Today, while trying to track down a lost order from our supplier's warehouse, the girl on the other end of the phone wasn't being particularly helpful. Anyways, after talking to her for a while and then being put on hold for at least 15 minutes, I realized that there was no point in me getting frustrated at her. It didn't help anyone. Least of all me. And maybe talking on the phone with her and letting her figure things out will help her become more able to help another customer faster and more easily the next time around.

I guess everything we do comes from a choice. And I just want to choose to be happy. I like being happy. So even if I never ever feel completely confident in myself, even if I never learn anything else, that is all I need to know - everything we do comes from a choice. And we can choose to be happy.


And in regards to that, I do need to work on being happier. No more disgruntled grumpiness in the mornings was step one. Although, I'm doing an okay job, right Kinsey?

That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do it has increased.
- Heber J. Grant

I believe in happily ever after.

I would now like to tell you all a story. And I wish I could read this to you out loud because I'm SO much more entertaining in person than in words(haha). You'll just have to pretend it's me reading it. Especially with all the theatrics I'd probably put in to make you laugh.

Fairy Tales Are True

Once upon a time, there was a girl. And a boy. After initially being introduced, they did not become fast friends. The girl just didn't know how to become friends with the boy. But she did want to be friends because they moved in the same circles, so logically, they should be. She didn't know what to do to overcome the great big wall she had built.

But then something magical happened. The girl didn't have to do anything special to become friends with the boy. They just started actually started doing things together with their friends and then the girl and the boy were friends. And they were for a long time.

The boy decided to disappear for two whole years. But somehow they sent messages to each other using snowflakes and rainbows so that somehow they would not feel so far away and end up not being friends anymore.

Then the boy decided to come back from the far off land where he had traveled and lived with others who are not like him. And instead of sending smoke signals or rearranging the stars, they got to talk face to face. But they mostly spoke through the enchanted and enchanting cyber kingdom of FbAoCoEk since they were still separated by a great wall that could only be overcome by those of unfailing determination and never-ending free-time.

The only problem of FbAoCoEk was that sometimes when the girl or boy said something to each other, things got lost in translation. Because of this tragic flaw, the friendship between the girl and the boy was tested. And pulled and twisted and tossed through a war. And somehow in one day, the boy and girl went from being friends to being 'more than friends' to breaking up and then getting back together and then breaking up again. This heartbreaking, devastating tragedy happened in the eternities of a short ten minutes. Woeful, heartbroken and betrayed, the girl did not know where to turn. Especially as she felt so alone in the cube that she was sitting in when it happened. And yet, because she got to talk to the boy that day she just felt like it made her day so much more exciting -despite the despair she felt.

The girl did not know how to handle it all. All the memories. All the messages in the sky and in the stars. Did nothing matter anymore? What happened to true friendship and always being there for each other? That boy broke her heart. And she didn't even know he could.

But, the story does not end here. The boy and the girl realized the flimsy and fake follies they were too concerned with and decided to put the past away and face the future. They decided to always be friends. And even if they weren't "together", together they would take steps into the future knowing that someday everything would all work out - and that even through the fighting and arguing and possible manipulation, there would always be laughter and charm and love. And the never-ending hope that fairy tales do come true. THE END

Saturday is a special day.

Saturday just happened to be awesome. I don't know if anyone else noticed. I think a few people did. I mean, come ON. It was the eleventh day of the seventh month. And what does that mean? It means it is a day to be celebrated. No, not because I survived the best five minutes of my life in a gut-wrenching, adrenaline-rushing, head-spinning, mind-blowing, amazingly awesome fall from 12000 feet above the majestic mountains, and then circled the sky around and around in a parachute and finally came to rest on the ground with a landing that was smooth as butter - no, it was a glorious day because I got my free slurpee from 7-11. Thank heavens. It was delicious. More specifically, the mango-apple + pina colada was definitely a highlight of my day. That smile on my face definitely says it all.

But seriously, skydiving was rad. I'm definitely, absolutely going again. This is half of the group that went. We jumped first.


How can you NOT want to do this again? More pictures to come when I steal the rest of them off of facebook.

This one's for you, gentlemen.....

Father's Day was a week ago, and so technically this is late. BUT, I did start thinking about this back in May. I just lost my notes and recently remembered where I put them. So, despite it being a good 6 days after Father's Day, I wanted to put it up.

First of all, I've given a lot to who has shaped me into the person that I am today. And I wanted to say out loud how much I LOVE my daddy. And my brothers. They are the greatest guys I've ever known. And, to be completely honest, I am semi-intimidated to bring anyone home to meet them because they are so amazing and no one can live up to the great guys that they are. I'm glad we'll be together for eternity. And I don't know if I can put into words how much you mean to me. And Dad, I love you so, so much. The older I get, the more I realize how much I'm like you. And I love it.

And for all you other guys, I did want to say thank you. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
*(I think I need to give a couple disclaimers first: 1- Mr. A is not the same Mr. A previously blogged about. 2- These are in no particular order. 3 - This list spans years. 4 - Because I wanted to have a complete A-Z thing, I did write about three of you twice. Because I could....)

Mr. A - Thanks for still being my friend despite all my awkwardness. Band was not the same.
Mr. B - Thanks for teaching me that being early has it's perks. I loved waiting for you to come. And the rushing was worth it.
Mr. C - You were the only one who didn't care that I wore overalls my first day of school in NY. Fashion faux pas, yes; friendship ruiner; no. Plus the fact that you had the cutest smile EVER didn't hurt. Thanks for giving me the confidence I left behind in Texas.
Mr. D - First kiss. We'll always have that. Thanks for the memories. And the laughter.
Mr. E - For those rides home when I couldn't stay any longer. And you didn't care about leaving the party early. Thanks.
Mr. F - Thanks for teaching me that my first impressions are usually wrong. In a really really good way.
Mr. G - That one email was worth everything else.
Mr. H - Thank you for that one perfect season, the late nights, the shenanigans, the ridiculousness of it all. I wouldn't trade any of it, ever. That year was incredible.
Mr. I - I don't know if I can say anything here that won't let the whole world know who you are. But you are something else. In a really really really good way.
Mr. J -Thanks for your time. And thanks for being there when I needed you.
Mr. K - Thanks for the music. It definitely has lasted for a long while.
Mr. L - Thanks for being untouchable.
Mr. M - Thanks for being my older brother's best friend. I really did have the biggest crush on you. That's why I wouldn't talk to you or look you in the eye. And now thanks for being my friend.
Mr. N - So unexpected. But so welcome. Thank you for the impromptu, unpredictability.
Mr. O - Thanks for making work worth all the effort. Maybe if we didn't compete so much, we'd have less to argue about. But then again, we wouldn't have had as much fun.
Mr. P - Thanks for teaching me that sitting there saying nothing gets me nowhere. If only I'd learned that before you walked out of my life.
Mr. Q - I wish I could sit you down across from me and spill my heart out to you. Because I know you'd actually listen to me and actually care about what I was saying.
Mr. R - To me, you were the perfect one. But thanks for treating me like I was.
Mr. S - Thanks for the dance. And the candy cane.
Mr. T - I actually mean it when I say thank you for (how do I put this so it comes out right?)..... letting me learn that sometimes two people weren't meant for each other. And realizing that's okay.
Mr. U - Thanks for being so good at sports. And letting me beat you despite that fact.
Mr. V - The 2 a.m. conversation standing outside in the middle of winter in Utah. Definitely opened my eyes.
Mr. W - For the fact that there is no pressure. That we can be ourselves.
Mr. X - You enlightened me to looking at the good things. Thank you for helping me realize that life wasn't as bad as my 16-year old self pictured it to be.
Mr. Y - Thank you for jumping. Past all the beginning awkwardness, past my facade. Thanks for seeing the real me.
Mr. Z - Thank you for teaching me that life is sometimes more about what happens when you don't plan than what happens when you do.

Once you begin to acknowledge random acts of kindness - both the ones you have received and the ones you have given - you can no longer believe that what you do does not matter. - Dawna Markova

Thank you gentlemen, for your small acts. Because they were so very, very big to me.

a hello and a smile

This might be completely random and have tons of tangents, but this has been on my mind. So now it's getting put on here.

So I went to dinner on Sunday (which was fabulous, by the way. Thank you, Kellys). A tiny part of that wonderful conversation was about how we interact with other people and how it does wonders just to smile at people. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, especially when I'm at work. Because I constantly interact with people. A big part of my job is customer service. And I will freely admit, there are some days when I would love to shake some common sense into a couple of the EFY kids. (I don't - which I think is very big of me. I mean seriously, how is it possible that you lock yourself in your room? HA. I understand locking yourself out, but not in.)
But after working here for 2+ years, I can definitely tell a difference between the days when I bring my attitude to work with me, or leave it at home. The whole "fake it 'til you make it" saying is so true when it comes to customer service. You go to work. You are getting paid to help other people, to solve problems, to come up with creative unique ideas. Why would you want to bring the drama from last night into work to ruin the mood? I think I just want to be able to make a difference everyday. And if I can do that by cheerfully doing what I'm already supposed to be doing, maybe - just maybe - I'll make someone else's day better. (Go watch Pike Place Market if you want to see some good customer service. They don't have the whole video up, but you can get a smidgen of what they do. I want to go there just because they make it seem so fun. We show this to our new employees at work.)

And I think we all need to stop looking at people with judgemental eyes, me especially. A lot of times I automatically judge someone (Kinz you know what I'm talking about haha) even when I don't mean to. And I am please to say that I am often wrong - probably 95% of the time. I try to remember that whether I realize it or not, they have feelings too. It is amazing what can happen when you put yourself out there and talk to a complete stranger. The more I think about it, the more I realize that some of the greatest friends I have are the result of a smile and a simple hello. One of my favorite videos is about this. (Granted, it is a commercial, but just ignore that when you watch it.) I don't know why, but it just makes me happy.