give thanks: day 1

I work at a doctors office. It's a great job for me (other than the nasty commute some days) and for where we are in life right now for a lot of reasons.Most of the patients and their families are wonderful, fantastic people. But every once in awhile we get a couple interesting ones.

such as:
Like this one night, as I was working the closing shift, we had a patient call who had taken his own blood pressure and it was soaring through the roof. The nurse and doctor were both in with patients and he asked what we would have him do. We told him we would have him go to the ER. If he came in here, we would just send him there and then that would be a wasted copay. He argued with us about it for a couple minutes, then told us that he had already called the cardiologist for their opinion. I was shocked. You say you called your HEART DOCTOR and he told you to go the ER? And then you decided to ignore him and call us hoping we'd say something different?! It's called common sense, buddy. C'MON.

Also, we have a patient from Bosnia who has only come to our office once or twice to see the doctor. He came in to drop off a form. And because I was the one that helped him, he gave me a candy bar. A candy bar the size of my head. Then another (smaller, but still huge) one when he came to pick it up. Delicious chocolate from Europe. Hello there, new best friend.

Today, I had a patient who called to get some information and asked that I fax it to him. He read me the number, I said okay, printed it, faxed it and then promptly forgot about it. A little while later I got a phone call from him very angrily asking me to not fax his information ever again. WHAT?! I was quite confused.

So, day one of November. Today I am grateful for the examples that others set of who I want to become and who I do not want to become. There are so many good people who have wonderful characteristics I hope to have some day. And there are others that teach me that I do not want to develop certain traits. In this on-going process, I am continually learning and growing and hopefully it is in good ways.

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My lifestyle change.

Let's talk about weight. No one likes to talk about it right? Other than in school and moaning/groaning about what youwish was different/better...which I definitely do.

I was a little... I guess naive is the word I'm looking for in high school. I didn't pay attention to all the girls who talked about spending time at the gym, running, yoga, and doing the Atkins diet (oh man. there were so many on that one) or whatever else was trendy at that time. All I knew about exercise was that I should do it and that I didn't really do it. 

My high school. gorgeous, huh?  ViaYou'd think working as a lifeguard for 5+ years would make you self-conscious about how you look in a bathing suit, but I never really paid attention. I always knew the other girls were "smaller" but they were also usually way shorter than me, so logically, I would weigh more because I was taller. (WHICH IS TRUE! C'MON people. Not everyone can be model-esque.) 

I played sports in high school and pretty much counted that as my exercise. Volleyball was in the fall, lacrosse was in the spring (with training starting mid-January). I figured I was set. 

We didn't have a scale at home (or did we? I can't remember having one that worked.) so I never paid attention to what I weighed. Naive, I know, but it was kind of nice to be ignorant.  I definitely liked having a team workout though. Having other people doing sprints, long runs, pushups and crunches with me was fun. It was easy for me when I could do it with everyone else. I loved all those girls so much. I'm a team player at heart.  

(I just realized I have no pictures of volleyball. How did that happen?!)

circa 2006 -I'm the nike shoes on the right side of the picture.

But then came college, and with it the "freshman 15" (I think mine was more 10, but still...). I realized what was happening, but I didn't really know what to do to stop it. I exercised/ran sometimes, but never consistently and never very intensely. It was mostly a sense of "oh, let's go exercise, even though you don't really know how." My weight increased, but I wasn't really paying attention. 

Hiking the Alpine Loop in 2007.

Bridal Veil Falls - 2007

One semester I think I decided I needed to be better about exercising so I went to the gym every day for a month and a half - I think mostly to prove to myself that I could stick to a program after a long history of quitting things. (I guess we'll save those stories for another day.)  

I went through 4 years of college not really being disciplined about what I ate, when I ate, how often I exercised, blah blah. But I did love the classes that talked about exercise/nutrition. (One of my favorite non-major classes was weightlifting - I felt so empowered.)  My major was exercise science and I took tons of classes that involved exercise and the body - kinesiology/biomechanics, physiology, athletic training, anatomy, etc. But I never did the normal exercise. I just did the extreme, fun, occasional  kind. 

go-carts in 2009 - ok,ok not that extreme.

Skydiving 2009! SO Incredible.

Hiking in Hawaii. I'm not sure what camera this is from but it was 2009, not 2006.

Then I got married! And if possible, I exercised even less. Being with David is way more fun than getting to the gym and onto the treadmill.  I got a gym pass and went for awhile. Then hurt my leg and quit. Then I cancelled my gym pass to save money. But I was still doing the "extreme" stuff. Like going camping/hiking. My pictures say that's what we do that the most.  Hiking is fun because of the challenge behind it and the scenery at the end. (Backpacking 17 miles was by far the hardest thing I've done this year and although I never wanted to do it again when it was over, I'm ready for another one!)

Uintas 2010 - read about it here

Unitas - 2010.  Clyde Lake. This was only a 3 mile backpacking trip? I don't remember.

Hiking in Escalante 2011 - read about it here

Bridal Veil 2011

Ryder Lake 2011
Ryder Lake was the 17-mile hike up in the Uintas. read about it here.

Fishing. It's extreme too. Don't laugh.

Other than these occasional adventures, I haven't really been doing tons of exercise. We have P90 and P90x, but I'm never consistent with those. But after working at a doctors' office and having lots of time to think about unhealthy weight, I'm thinking I need to do things a little differently. Over the past couple months, I've been trying to focus on being healthy more - paying more attention about what and when I'm eating, and if I'm eating just to eat (which I do A LOT) or if I'm really hungry. And this alone has helped me lose a little weight - BONUS! because I wasn't even trying - I was just going for "healthy". 

Especially as Thanksgiving and Christmas get closer, I'm going to try to be aware of what I put in my mouth. (My work is starting to get all the goodies/treats and lunches from patients and drug reps. Not good news for me.) I'm also going to try to exercise more - starting small. One of the running blogs I follow is doing a Pile on the Miles challenge - "to encourage us to pile on the miles instead of the pounds..." Sounds fun, right?  (I'm signing up today, if anyone else is interested in being my walking/running buddy.)

Basically, I'm trying to make lifestyle changes which I'm hoping will help me lose weight. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I'm trying to get healthy. I'm telling you because I need to be held accountable for it. If anyone else has advice/wants to tell me their story/wants to join me, let me know! (Hello, team player here!) Or go on a camping/backpacking/hiking adventure. I'm good at those too. :)

My Baby........

..........Blanket!
In case you didn't know, I have an incredibly talented cousin named Rachel (go look at her beautiful blog and her darling baby)!

She had a crotchet-along where she taught her readers how to crotchet. 

My older brother and his wife are having a little girl in February  (I'm getting a niece!!) and I wanted to make them something. 

Using her instructions on how to start crocheting, her FAQ and this original tutorial, this is what I made: 

[Try to ignore the corner that has gone all weird. And the foot feeling what the bobbles feel like.]

Semi -close up: 

I LOVED making this blanket.

(I haven't gotten up the courage - or the spending money - to start anything else.)

"Loved" meaning I was addicted to working on it every chance I could - at work, at home, during conference, etc.

I didn't think about how big it was going to be because I was paying more attention to not messing up than to how long I made my initial chain. Yeah. Problem. It turned out huge. But I think I like it that way. And next time, I don't think I'll be doing the stripes. Too much work and I think the one-color ones look so good.

 I very seriously considered keeping it at work because I get so cold here (hello, air conditioning in OCtOBER). But I decided the baby would probably want it more. 

So if anyone wants a blankie, I now feel like I can conquer the world with these, 

one adorable blanket at a time.

Plus it gives me something to do at work and I love being busy there.

Anyone?

I am also in the middle of making our Halloween costumes right now and I'm pretty excited about how they are turning out. 

Pictures to come.

Linking up here today!

The BEST things about FALL!

(This might be a little late, because it's been fall for awhile, but it finally feels like fall here in Utah. We got lucky with the warm weather.)

* Football! (we root for the Cougars, of course!)

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*changing leaves! The mountains look so pretty and it makes me miss NY's gorgeous colors.

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-*PUMPKIN anything. 

My very favorite recipe is for these pumpkin rolls.

 I'm pretty sure I have eaten can eat a whole one by myself. 

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*colder weather. (also, why does my work have the air conditioning running?) 

-*boots. I already wear mine too much. scarves. I have a whole drawer full of them.... gorgeous jackets!! these are some of my favorites:

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*Countdowns!  for Thanksgiving and Christmas specifically.

*Christmas shopping!!! Oh man. My lists are getting good. Shopping for other people is hard, but when you finally figure it out, it is awesome! 

*Family I am really looking forward to being with family. We are here for Thanksgiving. David's family has what I think is a great tradition. They play bingo after Thanksgiving dinner. It is always so fun to sit and talk while we play. All the prizes are just candy and things from the dollar store, etc. But it still exciting to win! It feels just like winning the lottery. (okay, maybe not...)
After Thanksgiving, I feel like Christmas is so close! We actually leave for NY 8 weeks exactly from today! I haven't been back for a year and a half, and I am getting so excited. Last time we were in NY for Christmas, we took these pictures:

Fall is so full of wonderful goodness and it always seems to be over too soon.

Maybe I should put a camera on my Christmas wishlist so I can remember it? (I have one, I am just coveting a nicer one...)

Anything else I forgot about Fall??

blind date - part deux

want to read part 1? click here

after that awesome date, i can remember thinking something along the lines of "do i have to count that as my first date ever? shouldn't it not count because it was a blind date?" i think i tried to convince myself i still had a chance to make good memories. (which i did - just not with him on my very first date.)
he's from connecticut, i was from ny. we never were in the same area/with the same friends, so i was good.
mr. first date walked away from my house and away from my life.... or so i thought.

fast forward a little over two years. hello, college! hello to living on my own two thousand miles away not knowing anyone, except my older, about-to-be-engaged brother close by.
oh wait. NO. mr. first date goes here too.
byu has an enormous campus and tens of thousands of students. but it is funny how often you see the same people over and over again. (it happens other places too)
and i used to see mr. first date everywhere freshman year. and then only occasionally the rest of the time. i saw him often enough, i realized that a) he danced on the ballroom team b) he wasn't married/dating anyone seriously and c) he didn't go on a mission.
i never had a class with him or anything.
but seeing him always made me think of that date and the smell of chlorine.

i've always wondered if he remembered anything at all about that fateful night.
i didn't think so because of how often i saw him at byu and there was no response.


then i got married and graduated!
end of mr. first date random sightings.

oh wait. NO. 
a little background: i do plasma. (i say do because i get paid, but saying i sell my plasma just sounds awful wrong) i don't have any problems with needles, and the cash makes great spending money. i started doing plasma sophomore year and then quit for awhile.
i started doing it again back in april (?)
and guess who works there.
yep. mr. first date.

the other day at plasma, i think maybe he might have realized he knew me somehow.
he has never checked me in or done my screening or anything like that
until last time.
he checked me in like normal, dotted my finger with the ink and then i walked away.
then i heard "natalie, are you from connecticut?"
....
.....
what would you have said??

this is my next project for all my scraps of fabric!

blind date - part uno.

it was my first date ever.
but it was a blind date. (not.a.good.way.to.start)


we had never met, never heard of each other, and we didn't even live in the same state.
set up by someone i sort of knew, but not really. it would be me, my date, him, his date.


it's a weeknight during the summer.
i worked all day (as a lifeguard getting paid extravagantly well for just watching people swim and getting tan)
working all day means i didn't get to do what you'd think would happen before a girl's first date... the whole "getting ready, being excited, nervous, etc." i wonder what it would have been like if i actually had known/had a crush on my first date.
came home late from work smelling sweet like chlorine.
threw on clothes and they were already here to pick me up

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we went to a great restaurant
where not much talking happened (i remember trying, but honestly, i had no idea how to act on a date or what to do)
then i paid for both of our dinners. (on blind dates, don't you go dutch? i'm was quite confused)
then to our activity. which wasn't really an activity. we just walked around the mall not talking.
then i was taken home. (after which, i'm sure i simply got in my car and went and hung out with friends. probably to hannah's house.)
awesome date, eh?      [this kind of first date probably explains quite a bit about why i thought dating was an annoyance for so long. ACTUALLY,  it probably explains a lot about me --why i didn't like anyone i didn't know first. why i wasn't more outgoing towards boys i liked, why i married someone i had know for 4 years instead of someone i just met, why i embraced the "hang out" idea, etc]




and you would think that this is the end of that boy and that i'd never see/hear from/interact with him ever again - especially being from different states, right??


wrong-O.  but that's another part of the story.


 i'm just grateful for other good first dates that completely reversed my thinking.

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Shine.

So a lovely blog I follow, The Shine Project, (go check it out!) is all about supporting inner-city high school students in their efforts to go to college. Ashley, the wonderful person behind this whole effort, is hosting a HUGE event in Arizona. Unfortunately, I don't live in Arizona so I can't go. BUT, she is holding a fantastic online raffle with so many great prizes. If you are interested in helping Ashley and her cause, please please go participate!!

It felt right.

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It is funny to see how much our plans for the future have changed since we were first engaged.
At first it was med school and planning for the classes needed to apply. I expected the long hours of studying and classes and everything that goes into being a doctor. Add on the fact that radiology was the specialty we  ("we" meaning "David") were thinking of doing. (How long would that be? It would take 4 years of med school + 2 years residency + 2 years of fellowship after you finish your undergrad. That would be 8 years of post-undergrad schooling.)

One day while at work, we were gchatting and David told me he didn't think he wanted to go to med school anymore. He was thinking of being an actuary. (Don't be afraid to click the link. I didn't know what an actuary was either...)  For various reasons, he decided med school wasn't for him. The more he explained his reasoning, the more it felt right.   Plus, no extra schooling (they mostly don't care if you have a masters or not. They have their own tests they go by.), it would a 9-5 job (sah-weet!), and after a few years in the field, we should pretty much be able to pick where we want to live. (How often do people get that?)

So yeah, this new career sounded pretty sweet.    Minus the fact that the whole career is based on a series of multiple tests (and eventually more "classes") that are $200 each and are super hard and even though you finish school, there are still tests for the next X amount of years that you decide. (But most places actually give you time to study and some even pay for the tests and materials!) But overall, this is what feels right for us.

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Now we are in David's senior year of school and we figured this is how it pretty much would go: apply for jobs, graduate in April, move to new job, work for a few years, etc....

How it is really working out: David and I are on gchat again, and he tells me that he thinks he is going to  postpone graduation so that he can get an internship. Now we (again, read:David) are in the middle applying for many, many internships, not knowing what will happen come April, maybe not being together for the summer, not knowing about any jobs, etc. But when he told me about postponing graduation, it just felt right.

A lot different than we thought it would be.
But this has been a great lesson in faith.
Even though we don't know anything about what is happening in past April,
I have faith that it will all work out.

Anything like this ever happen to you?

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Worth the effort? YES.

I was just browsing through the drafts on my blog, and deciding to spruce this one up and actually post it. .

I know lots of people that have gotten married recently - some that I know well, and some that David knows. I loved our wedding day, so it is always exciting to me for other people to get married.

Wedding days are always exciting - even if you aren't the one getting married.

You can't stop smiling (even when your zipper breaks on your wedding dress).
You never want to let go of each other.
You think you will always remember every feeling and thought you have.
Wedding days are incredible.

I think our society has put the focus on the "wedding" and not the marriage itself. Which is sad because when you have a successful marriage there is so much more joy and happiness that you feel than one day of a wedding. 

I think I saved a bunch these quotes because I loved the idea that you actually have to put a little bit of effort into your marriage. (And I apologize because I have no idea what my sources are. That's how old this post is.)

"Marriage should not be so much about looking at each other but looking in the same direction together. I believe the message from this is to remember the positive things that brought you together and then to concentrate on positive goals to achieve as a couple. My observation is that all the cute, unique things that made your spouse wonderful in the beginning are going to be the things that grate on your nerves later. Try to focus on the positive -- if you look for negative qualities in someone you are sure to find them!"

 

"Remember the reason for the day. don't start off your marriage by going into debt if you can help it. the only things that should last forever are your marriage and your photography - everything else is just details."

"My dad told me 'try to outdo each other in kindness.' I thought that was good advice. That way you are concentrating on the positive."

 

"Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give 10%. Other days you may wake up and give 25% and your husband will have to put in the 75%."


[Any other good advice out there? Seriously, I love quotes like this so please share!]

I was thinking this weekend about how much different I feel now than I did when we first got married. It is impossible to think that you could love someone more than you did on your wedding day, but I do. It is a way more mature kind of love I think. I would rather be with David than anything else. (And it probably won't always be this way -- the ladies I work still tell me I'm in the "honeymoon phase".)

I think this is part of the reason why Monday mornings are not fun. It means a whole week of spending a couple hours together instead of being able to have days together like on the weekends. I guess that just makes those hours all the more precious. 

I am definitely not the easiest person to be married to (hello, stubbornness!) and I am constantly amazed at how much patience David has in dealing with me (sorry, babe...). 

 I am so, so incredibly thankful for the chance to continually work harder at making marriage better. 

Because even though the wedding is over and the car has driven away, I still want my marriage to be forever. 

Expectation

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Want to know a secret?                 I struggle.   (a lot lately....)
I could just say that I struggle with going to work and doing my dishes every night. Which I do, that much is true - it's just not where I want to leave things.

I struggle with expectations.
My expectations of myself.

I think these expectations of mine come from a few different things.

                   ONE  - going to high school with very determined people. (And by "determined", I mean people who are going places. Starting with Columbia, Harvard, and every other famous school.) It made me want to do big things, become someone big.
              I sit at work and think about how I have a college degree and haven't done anything with it.(I am grateful I have a job. I am just not in love with it.) Then I sit and think of different possibilities that I can do to further my education/abilities and feel more satisfied.

                   TWO - This stems from ONE. Wanting to do something to change the world. That is pretty much the only way I know how to say it. Maybe something that makes a difference.
                  But I think I am okay in realizing that my "difference" in the world comes from A) smiling at people at work (and some of them DON'T deserve it.) B) fulfilling my calling(S). Those nursery kids might not ever remember me. Or my 1.5 minute lesson. But (hopefully) they will remember that nursery was fun.
             Plus, who really wants to be famous? I'll take my privacy any day.
                 
                        THREE - Pinterest/blogs. (you might even throw FB in there...) Oh, how these are complicated relationships right here. I could easily spend my whole day (just ask David) perusing the stories and the pictures and the inspiration that is floating around.
                    I love love LOVE the power that sharing ideas has. And now, everything a girl could practically want, idea/inspiration-wise, is right at my fingertips. And there is so much out there to LEARN. I love the stories that connect people to each other. I look at these women and their lives and think of how wonderful it would be to have their experiences. And then I remember that I am not them. I am me


Essentially, the whole point of this dissertation is that I need to change my outlook. I am so, so grateful for my education. And I do plan on continuing to learn for the rest of my life. I'm grateful for a job that treats me well (other than the drive every day through nasty Utah construction, ugh). As much as I want to do/be something big - I don't think I will really enjoy it as much as I like to think I will. I love pinterest/blogs for everything they are and embody, I want to have MY OWN experiences. My pictures might not be as perfect and my etsy shop might be non-existent, but I will have memories of my own.
  And secretly,(David - ignore this part) I am okay with the idea of starting a family anytime now. It used to freak me out. But the more and more I think about it (and teach nursery and go to work), the more I realize that I want that part of life to be mine.


So my expectations now are these:
1 - wake up every day happy for what I have
2 - live my own life. and not on the computer
3 - don't have expectations. :)

Any other suggestions?

 How's that for a new post?(does anyone else actually read this??)