Babies.

I dream a lot about babies - which you think would be my subconscious telling me that I really do want to "grow large with child", when, in fact, I would really really REALLY like to put that off for some time. So, I'm not really understanding these dreams.  I'm not looking forward to the stress or the missed sleep because I know it's not all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to children.
But yet, I know multiple adorable pregnant women. And although I know it's completely absurd, the jealousy/coveting begins. I want one too. I want a baby I can call my own and not have to give back. A baby who can change my life forever (not to mention getting me out of working!). A baby that is a part of me.

Then, here comes Elizabeth Stone who sums it up succinctly for me: "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

And I know I'm not ready. Not ready to let go of my heart. I want to keep it safe for a little while longer. Someday, I think I will be ready to be a mother and let part of my heart go. But not yet. Someday.


BUT
that didn't stop me from getting one of these for free yesterday (I paid for shipping only!):

Picture from here. (And thanks Jessi for the promo code!)

And it is going into storage right away.