i'd rather do things my own way. on my own time. without getting hurt. except apparently, that's not possible. even when you did everything you could. i built walls. around and around to keep everyone out that i didn't want to let in.
where does it all come from? why does that one hurt so badly and why do i care so much about someone i don't actually know. and pretty soon this facade will be over and you'll realize who i truly am. and then you'll leave me and i will leave with a memory. because isn't that all i really need? just memories. and hopes and dreams. but nothing real or made up.
i live in this world. where everything is like a dream. try as i might nothing ever becomes the way i want it to be. in the end, i have to realize that i can never really want anything. i am afraid that if i want something so much, it only means that i will never have it.
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