I wish

I wish:

1. That the next 4 months would go by faster.
2. That I could wake up as happy as I did today everyday.
3. That money wasn't important.
4. That school wasn't as... busy.
5. That I was smarter.

Apparently I've gone AWOL

I would like to say that I've been swamped and busy up to my nose in school and work and a social life, but I am not ashamed to say that that would be untrue. I have only been semi-busy. Week one of school was intriguing, to say the least. And I already missed one day of classes. And slept through another. (not my fault. i have a GOOD excuse.)

Now I am sitting on the couch not doing homework? Of course I am.

And I was totally going to write something else here, but I think it would be ill-timed, so I will hold off on that until later.

p.s. "Adam" is a good movie.

p.p.s. Root canals stink

p.p.p.s. I've completely forgotten what I was originally going to write this post about. Maybe I'll remember later...

Break is over.

Christmas was a whirlwind. Lots of trips. Living out of a suitcase for 2 weeks. Flying in airplanes. Lots of driving. Idaho, Utah, New York. Train rides. And pictures. Lots of pictures. And since a picture is worth a thousand words, you get many pictures. And I will save my words for later.

Salt Lake Temple

American Museum of Natural History.

Little Italy

Manhattan BridgeRockefeller Center

On the Train

At the park across the street from my house

Times Square

The Intrepid

Brooklyn Bridge
Quickly! Best drinks ever.

And now school starts. 16 credits, 6 classes. Oh joy oh joy.

bowl me over.

So every Thursday night, we made our way to an alley that contained balls and pins for our play. (well, not mine - theirs.) I watched, week in, week out, the good, the bad, the awful. And trust me. It was most definitely worth it.

This team of bonediggers won the championships. They are the best bowling team that BYU has to offer. They played big when it counted. And they came away with these awesome pieces of art:

So, you ask, were these worth an entire semester's worth of Thursdays?

I think YES.

twilight years?

watch this little gem. it is priceless. and it made me laugh.

in my perfect world.

As of right now, my perfect world contains ZERO finals. But is that what I really want in my perfect world?

No, I can handle the finals. I think I want something else instead.

in my perfect world, I would devote more time to appreciating God's hand in my life.

I would savor and cherish the good times.

my pride would never come first.

i would apologize more. and so, so much sooner.

i would be more understanding and try to listen more.

communicating my love would be the most important.

be forgiving, gentle, and unfailingly kind.

the people i love most would always know it and know it because of my actions.

And as hard and frustrating as finishing my finals seem right now, this perfect world sounds even farther away. And as impossible as that sounds, I am comforted by the fact that everyday is an opportunity for me to become a better person. And take one step closer to that perfect world.

love me or hate me - that is the question.

i've decided that i have a love/hate relationship with growing up.

wanna hear my reasons?

1) no more imagination. growing up means this is definitely blocked. have you ever heard of a grown-up having an imaginary friend? yeah, me neither.

2) more responsibility. not as fun as it sounds. because responsibility and stress have a direct relationship. one goes up, so does the other.

3) people talk to you seriously. yeah, it's all fine and good most of the time. but who wants to be taken seriously ALL the time? not me.

4) no more fun bathtime. showers/bath are 99% all seriousness now. no more crayon soap, no more rubber duckies, no more pretending to be the little mermaid and soaking up the floor (i definitely loved that one. it was always the part of the movie where she splashes up on the rock and all the waves crash behind her. definitely made for a wet bathroom floor.)

5) no more fun jobs. real jobs (minus a select few) are never as fun as washing the walls or cleaning my room. (cleaning my room always led to dress up - with whatever was on the floor. which means nothing got put away and it never really got clean. funny how that happens sometimes.)

6) i love choosing my own bedtime. which lately has been getting later and later. and taking naps of my own choice makes them even sweeter.

7) the idea of decorating my own house is just thrilling. i have all these ideas of what i want to do crammed away into a folder that is just waiting to be opened!

8) school is definitely a lot harder. but is almost the same amount of fun.... not the same KIND of fun, but maybe the same amount.

9) shopping is way more fun. costco samples, clearance sales, christmas shopping. definitely more fun when you don't have to stay with Mom the whole time.

10) boys no longer have cooties. in fact, i spend most of my time with one and i'm still as enamored as day one.

The pleasure is all mine.

On my anatomy test today was this:

"It has been a pleasure having you.... Now hurry up and get out of here!"

It echoed my sentiments exactly.

One final down. Five more to go. And all that is going through my head right now is "baby steps". "baby steps". "Baby steps into the elevator......"

squelched. thoroughly.

my creative juices have been squelched.

Two more weeks of finals/classes. Two weeks too long.

And the fact that it's snowing outside just makes me want to curl up in front of a christmas movie with some hot chocolate and toast. And NOT study. I'm on a good losing streak right now including having successful studying sessions or coming up with anything to blog about.

I've been squelched. thoroughly........... or maybe I should just face the truth that I never had any juices to begin with. Either way, it's a doozy of a quandary - and all my brain wants to do is shut down and hibernate for the winter.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Sometimes life is all about the countdowns. Countdowns to take-off. Countdowns to deadlines. Days until birthdays. Days until Christmas (or any other holiday for which school is closed). Countdowns to when babies are due. Countdown to when work is over or the weekend begins. Days until my flight leaves. Days (and then hours) until his flight arrives. Time until classes are over. Time until dinner is ready. Countdowns to when finals are done. Days until payday. I think we would all have countdowns to our deaths if it were possible for us to know exactly when that would be. I always seem to be waiting for something to happen. Funny how we all are counting down until sometime in the future instead of enjoying the now.