Lost

So I've kind of lost my motivation. Pretty sure the last time I had it was way back at the beginning of February.

And along with my motivation, I am also missing my time management, sleep, organization skills, and common sense.

I am hoping they will all find their way back to me on their own, but I'm realizing now that I need to work on getting them back. But.... That requires motivation. Which I don't have.
Oh it's a horrible catch-22.

Someone motivate me??

- Posted from iPhone

In lieu of Cadbury's.

Do you ever find yourself craving things? I mean things OTHER than food. I do. (my food craving for the moment are Cadbury's eggs - here for the Easter season and NOT making it any easier for me to fit into a wedding dress.) Want to hear what I have been craving lately?

1) a Burberry trench coat -

(image from here)

A classic yet trendy, practical yet "I'm not afraid to pay for something a little more expensive" piece of clothing. Oh how I would love to have one without having to trade in 5+ months of rent. Alas, my non-skinny waist and normal-length legs would not do it justice. But that does not stop the craving.


2) running shoes. And when I crave these, I crave lots of them - many kinds and many pairs. Nike, adidas, asics, puma, underarmor, mizuno.

(image from here)

Whenever I see them, I get this little tingle in my feet that makes me want to put them on and just keep running. But, I cannot justify buying these because I do not fit into the category of "passionate runner". Although I would like to call myself one someday. But not today.

3) ruffles, ruffles and more ruffles. I can't seem to get enough. I just think they look so feminine and lovely without giving me the feeling like I'm stuck in the wrong century.
I love this dress:

(Taken from here)

Also, my dream wedding dress:


Oh how could you NOT want to wear that?!! Just imagining myself in it makes me feel beautiful.

4) bangles. Stacks and STACKS of them. Thick and chunky, bold and painted, carved or plain, gold or silver or wood. Oh man. I want them all.

From here

From here

Aren't they so pretty?

4) Lately: THE USA OLYMPIC SNOWBOARDING OUTFITS!
Holy smokes. Plaid and denim. I love that they look like they are snowboarding in their jeans!

Image from here

BUT what I really love are their JACKETS! I think they look so good. Too bad BURTON doesn't even sell them yet. Or the fact that I wouldn't be able to afford it anyways.

Other things making my list: boots, scarves, headbands, mascara, and bags. (especially ones with shoulder straps. extra bonus if they have both kinds.)

I guess now is the time when I need to take a step back and be grateful for what I do have instead of wishing for things I want. Reality check time. Catchya on the flip flop when I get back from it.

I have a confession. I really don't know who I am.


I mean I know who I am. But I think I have multiple personalities (but not in the crazy psycho way). I just have so many different styles that I like and I can never make up my mind. Guess that explains why I am so indecisive.

I really should just make up my mind about who I am and who I want to be.

- Posted from my iPhone

For them.

Dear Random Bloggers,

You don't know me. And I can pretty much guarantee that we will never meet. But I just wanted to thank you for having a blog. And not making it private. And for letting me become a part of your world for a few short minutes. I just happened across your blogs in my everyday wanderings of the worldwide web. I was only looking for something to read about that would take my mind off of the clock that ticks so slowly and reminds me that there are plenty of minutes left before I can go home. BUT for a few short minutes, I stumble across your world. A world that seems out of a fairy tale. A world that I long to be a part of for even a short space of time.

I envy your lives sometimes. You all have incredible stories to tell and captivate me with the minute details that make it feel so intimate. The courage and faith and patience and love and firm hope I read in your words is marvelous to read about.

I envy your trials - even the pain that comes from them. The lessons you learned from them and lived to blog about are awe-inspiring. You say that they were so difficult, yet you made it through them with such grace and poise and elegance. I know that maybe I'm not seeing the whole picture, but the glimpses that I do catch take away my breath and make me wish I was stronger like you.

I want to have the same kind of happiness that you have. The babies being born, the myriad of memories, the holiday celebrations, the school performances, the vacations, the moments where you have tender mercies and hopeful revelations. Oh please, take me into your world for two seconds. School and work seem oh so dull and not worth blogging about. There are millions of people around me saying the same thing. "School is hard, work is tough, not enough hours in the day." All I want is to have an adventure. And you give me that while I can't have it on my own - by letting me look through your eyes.

May you continue to have wonderful birthdays and beautiful memories so that I can continue to grow from seeing how you go through your world. You make me want to live better, be better. And I owe you tremendous thanks for that. I am excited to have adventures of my own someday. And if we do meet, can we trade stories?!

Graciously,

The girl you don't know and probably never will.

Oh to know...

Hands down most valuable thing I've learned in my 4 years of college? That the more I learn, the more I realize I have yet to learn.

I guess we all really should be life-long learners.

And I also need to have better study habits. Like maybe actually taking notes in history instead of blogging. But Señor Brown is just oh so blah. No offense to him, of course. I just cannot pay attention today. So blogging it is.

- Posted from iPhone

oh the places you'll go.

This is where I wish I was today:

It would be nice to be done with school and have the money to travel the world and see fantastic places.

Oh, paper,
please write yourself so that I can rid myself of the stress you are causing me. In the short space of three hours I will turn you in. So, can you please just get done on your own in the meantime?
gracias, xie xie, merci beaucoup

wishful thinking?

Wow. I really want a sewing machine. My crafty side has been suppressed for way too long. I am just dying to get my hands on some material and make something pretty.

And yet, I know I wouldn't put it to the good use it truly would deserve. (kind of like my guitar. still in the closet. poor thing.)

I guess I will just have to wait for forever to get one. Probably a good thing anyways, because there are papers and tests that come before any fun projects.

Which means, in my case, that all the grand ideas in my head will just have to stay there for a few more years.

I would love to make something like this:

(taken from here)

this is where i want to be right now.

instead of sitting at work and doing homework and studying for 3 tests.

maybe if i close my eyes and pretend to be warm, it will seem more real.

So we went shopping yesterday. And spent A LOT of money. (Not as much as last weekend though! But still it was a lot.) And after thinking about everything we bought, I realized I have this weird shopping habit. I will walk ALL over the store looking at things and grabbing them if they catch my eye. And then I go try things on, and stick to my rule of only buying things that I LOVE. Well, guess what I noticed? I tend to love and buy the first thing that I pick up in a store.
Doesn't matter what store it is, or what type of item it is, that is usually what I end up buying. And usually, due to my lack of funds, that is the only thing I buy on that day.

So does that mean I should just automatically buy the first thing I pick up and not waste the rest of my time browsing the entire store? Maybe.







This was our big purchase last week. NOT the first thing I picked up. But it was one of the first. And I still sit and stare at it not believing that it is really mine to keep.


- Posted from iPhone

Say a little prayer for me.

Well. I took the leap of faith and ordered my dress today. (THE dress.) I REALLY hope this works out. Everything has been falling into place so perfectly, I am just waiting for SOMETHING to go wrong--- and I'm really scared that this is going to be where it does.

Oh boy I'm scared.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.




- Posted from iPhone